Guiding Sarah

We can help guide children’s behavior.  We can say, “Sarah, please put your feet on the floor” rather than “Sarah, don’t stand on the chair”. Young children may not even know what is expected from them unless it is clearly stated. As adults we also know that it’s easier to follow a direction when we understand the consequences of not doing what is being suggested to us. With Sarah, we may continue, “It’s not safe to stand in the chair. You might fall and get hurt.” Sarah may still not get down out of the chair, but as the adults who are responsible for her safety, we are going to ensure that she does. Sarah might feel like she needs some control in the situation (or a graceful way out). We can try to give that to Sarah by offering her a choice. “Sarah, would you like to put your feet on the floor by yourself or would you like me to help you?” Your hope at this point is that Sarah will choose to come down out of the chair by herself. If not, you tell Sarah, “Then I will have to help you.” At which point you gently pick Sarah up and put her feet on the floor. Sarah may not like this, but you have been positive (stated what you wanted her to do in positive terms), respectful (explained why you have asked her to do this and given her a choice as to whether she want to do it on her own or have help) and you have followed through (removing her from the chair and the unsafe situation). Guidance may be firm (you don’t let Sarah stand in the chair again or stay there if she does). Through this interaction, you have also established your role as the teacher (teaching the children what is safe and what is not safe) and caregiver (one who is concerned about the well-being of the children). This scenario may repeat itself day after day (or hour after hour), but in time, Sarah will develop the self-discipline to keep her feet on the floor and not stand in the chair.